Well hello there! It has been an awfully long time since I have been here. Life has been incredibly busy this past year. Alright, it just has been busy always. In the past year we have sold our condo, purchased a house, added a four footed friend to our family, and made the switch to homeschooling!

One thing that has not changed over the years is the fact that I love to cook. I also love to bake. I just love food in general. I have been asked over the years for my recipes. I am going to let you in on a little secret. I don’t generally use recipes. I use a recipe as a guideline when baking. I might look at a recipe to see what ingredients are in a dish, and possibly in what proportions. That is about the extent of my recipe following. Another thing that I have been told over the years is that I should write a cook book. Here is another secret for you. I am not a chef! My husband is a Red Seal Chef. I am not. I have zero training in cooking. I have been making it up as I go along. It was only recently that I have seriously considered writing a cook book. I am hesitant though, I am not sure if it would actually sell. With that in mind, I thought I would pop on here and possibly try blogging some of my cooking first. What do you think? I know there are a million other cooking blogs out there already. Would mine be just another block of text to scroll past? Would you be interested in following along once or twice to humour me? Please let me know in the comments!

I’m laying awake, frozen with fear. Dripping with cold sweat and tears streaming down my face. My heart is racing, and possibly even missing a beat here and there. Everyone else is sleeping peacefully; blissfully unaware of the danger that still feels so near to me. My dream still feels so real to me. I’m completely exhausted and yet terrified to fall back asleep. I can still hear the words, whispering from my dreams, “I’m coming for you”. If I fall back asleep, he will catch me in an instant. The demon in my dreams is persistent both when I’m sleeping or awake.

Domestic abuse is no joke. People tell you to just “get over it”. You can go through years of counselling and take all the steps on the road to healing. You can be making progress in healing. Sometimes, despite all efforts, the demon in your dreams is still there. He’s there, he’s very real to me, and he refuses to go away. When you try to explain yourself, it’s really easy for people to brush you off. I think they don’t want to, or can’t understand. People say things such as “Oh, she’s *just* depressed”, or “She *just* has anxiety”. They make it sound as if it’s a choice, it’s your fault, or that you’re just being silly. Don’t you think that if I could be rid of this demon once and for all, I would?! Maybe the words need to be “No wonder she struggles with depression”, or “No wonder she has anxiety”. Domestic abuse is not a joke. It is not something to be swept under the carpet. It is not something you can just “get over”. It shakes you down to your core and has a lasting impact on your life to some extent. When you refuse to acknowledge and understand that domestic abuse is a problem, the abusers win. The demons win. We need to bring those demons to light. Confront them. I understand that confrontation is difficult, and not many people like it or do well with it. It is much harder for one man, woman, or child to try to confront their demon alone in the dark than it is for a host of people to confront those demons together in the light.

I love to bake. I don’t generally eat tons of baking, but I do love to bake. Quite often I’ll send banana bread, banana chocolate chip muffins, cinnamon bread, cinnamon raisin bread, an Italian herb bread, or even red velvet cupcakes to work with my husband. I also love to bake cakes for my kids birthdays, and so on. I’ve done Mario cakes, Star Wars cakes, princess cakes, Thomas cakes, Paw Patrol, plain cakes, and the list goes on.

A couple of weeks ago, my brother in law turned another year older. So, we offered to host cake and coffee for his birthday. When I asked him what kind of cake he wanted, he chose cheesecake. Not just any cheesecake, but a New York cheesecake with salted caramel on top. Sounds daunting to make, doesn’t it? Nope! If I can make this while in the most scatter-brained state, then you can make it too! Here’s how!

New York Cheesecake

Ingredients needed are as follows:

• 1 1/2 cup graham cracker crumbs
• 1/2 cup plus 1 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup butter, melted (I generally use unsalted, but due to the richness of the cake, I add a pinch of salt in this recipe)
• 5 packages (8 oz) cream cheese, at room temperature (NOTE: Do NOT skimp on the cream cheese if you do not want your efforts to be in vain. I buy Philadelphia cream cheese bricks for this cake. I had a bad experience with No Name brand and this recipe before. Also, don’t buy the light cream cheese. If you’re eating a New York cheesecake, you’ve already blown your diet out of the water, so you may as well truly indulge and enjoy yourself.)
• 5 eggs
• 2 egg yolks
• 2 Tbsp flour
• 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

Step by Step

1. Prepare your cake pan. I use a springform pan with a piece of parchment on the bottom.
2. Combine your graham cracker crumbs, 1/2 cup sugar, and melted butter. Press firmly into bottom of springform pan and set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl, whip the cream cheese until smooth. This is where it is important to make sure it’s room temperature. If you’re like me, and forgot to pull the cream cheese out the night before then you’re going to find yourself taking much longer with the hand mixer, and wondering why you’ve put yourself in this situation at 7:30 in the morning on a school morning.
4. Add your eggs and egg yolks, ONE at a time. Please take the time to make sure you fully incorporate each egg before adding the next. Small details make a polished product.
5. Add the remaining 1 3/4 cup sugar. Blend it all together, making sure you scrape down the sides as you go.
6. Add the flour and blend it all together.
7. Add the heavy cream and make sure it’s all blended until it’s creamy and silky smooth.
8. Pour your mixture into your pan and gently smooth it out. Be careful not to knock out too much of the volume you just spent time building.
9. Place your cheesecake in a cold oven on the middle rack. I know this goes against your baking intuition, but trust me here. Also, you don’t need to worry about your cake spilling over the pan because we have not added any leavening agents. I can’t promise it won’t leak out the bottom if you haven’t closed your springform pan properly. Not that I’ve ever done that in the past or anything…
10. Gently close the oven door and turn the oven on to 200*F
11. Set a timer for 3 hours and 10 mins
12. Walk away! No peeking!!
13. When your timer goes off, turn it off, but keep the door closed! Still NO PEEKING!
14. Set a timer for an hour. If you forget it in there and leave it for two hours, that’s fine too. Forget about it. Resist the temptation to peek. It’s worth it, I promise.
15. When you remember that you put a cheesecake in the oven hours upon hours ago, or when your timer goes off, it’s finally time to look! Remove the cheesecake from the oven and cover with plastic wrap.
16. Place covered cheesecake in the fridge and leave it for 8-24 hours before serving.

You could put any sort of sauce, berries, or anything on top of this cheesecake really. We did salted caramel this time and it was amazing. Again, you can do it too. Here’s how!

Salted Caramel Sauce

Ingredients:

• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 tbsp unsalted butter, diced and slightly chilled
• 3/4 tsp (or to taste) salt (I used Pink Himalayan because that’s what we had on hand, but Kosher or other large grain salt will do)

How To:

1. Place sugar in a medium saucepan. Add water. Place on medium high heat. Do NOT stir. This is going to drive you crazy but resist the urge! It won’t burn.
2. In a small saucepan, warm cream. Do not scald or boil. You just want it warm
3. Let sugar bubble away and caramelize. It should turn a dark amber colour after about 8-12 minutes.
4. Once your sugar is caramelized, remove it from the heat and whisk in the warm cream.
5. Keep whisking and slowly add your butter. This will smooth it out and stop it from cooking any further.
6. Add your salt and whisk it in.
7. Drizzle warm caramel sauce over cold cheesecake. If you’d like, add a fine dusting of salt on top to garnish.

It’s time to grab a fork and indulge. Seriously. It’s so good. There likely won’t be much conversation as the cake is being devoured!

A couple tips for serving your cheesecake. First, keep it in the fridge until it’s ready to serve. Second, take the time to cut it properly. Run a sharp knife under hot water and give it a quick wipe with a cloth to dry it off. Make one slice. Run the knife under hot water and repeat this again. This is how you end up with a crisp, clean slice of cheesecake.

My photos didn’t turn out the best due to lighting but you’ll get the idea. Mine had wrinkles in it this time, likely because I didn’t bring my cream cheese to room temperature first. That being said, if you start your cake in a cold oven and resist the temptation to peak, you’ll end up with a beautiful cheesecake that will not have deep cracks and crevices. No need to mess with a water bath either! If I can get this cake in the oven on a school morning in our chaotic house, you can surely do it too!

If you happen to make this cake, I’d love to see your photos! Happy indulging!

I’m beyond tired. I would say I’m exhausted but it goes further than that. My soul is weary. You might think having five kids has something to do with it. You’re right, it certainly does. Yes, I have five kids aged 6 and under and so we are busy with day to day life, but let me share something with you. Our life is very intense. Three of our blessings have various hurdles to overcome in life. We don’t know what that will look like in the future but while we look forward to the future, we have to live in the here and now. Guess what? It’s intense. Our highs are very high, and our lows are very low. I wouldn’t change it for the world but it does take a toll on us as parents. Every parent would advocate for their child (or so I would hope) to give them everything they could to help them reach their full potential, whatever that may be. Right now on top of daily life, I’m advocating for my children because this extreme cold presents more challenges for our family than it would for your “average” family. Fair is not always fair and I’m afraid some people are very short sighted when it comes to situations like this. So on top of the day to day life that we all face, and the added challenge of life with children with exceptionalities, I’ve got this battle to face and I feel like it’s pushing me to my limits. It has pushed me beyond exhausted and into weary. It might sound like I’m complaining, and maybe I am a bit. You know what? This life is hard. Is it worth it? Every single sleepless night. Every time I fight with my kids about eating and trying to ensure they get proper nutrition. Every late night washing or folding laundry. Every hour I stay awake just to try to snatch a little “me” time or time to just spend with my husband. Every tear shed in happiness with their success, big or small. Every tear shed during the not so great days. Every time I’m screamed at. Every breath I use advocating for my children. Every single sacrifice I make for my children, it’s all so worth it. To the weary parents and care givers out there- you’re not alone. It’s ok to feel weary. It’s a sign that you care so deeply about those entrusted to your care. They were given to you for a reason and not anyone else. To the mom who finds herself folding laundry with tears streaming down her face (this was definitely me today), you’re not alone. When your children go to bed, try to find something to help you rest and recharge. It might not happen instantly but before you go to bed, peek in on your beautiful sleeping children to remind yourself just how worth it all of your sacrifices are. Say a prayer over them. Then go to bed and remember, this is a season. We feel sorrows intensely, but we also love intensely. No matter how weary I am, I will always love my children fiercely, no matter the price.

So I have been talking about starting a blog for what seems like forever. I finally jumped in and did it! I will write more later as I have children to whisk off to school soon but I just wanted to say hello and thanks so much for reading!!

I hope we are able to share some good times together. I will just be sharing our ordinary day to day lives with you. Our story, if you will. It will be peppered with recipes and stories of our never dull house, and everything that happens in between!

Remember to stop and look for the extraordinary in this ordinary Wednesday!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton